Me, My Spouse and the Internet: Meeting, Dating and Marriage in the Digital Age

Overview

An important aspect of the way in which the Internet influences our everyday life is the way in which it reconfigures not only how we communicate, but also with whom we communicate; how we meet people but also who we meet.

This theme of 'reconfiguring access' is an important element of several of our research projects. The Oxford Internet Surveys (OxIS) have recently paid special attention to social networks and relationships formed through the Internet. Other examples of projects in this area include the eSocial Science (OeSS) project, the Companions project and research on mobile phones.

The project contributes to our research into the impact of the Internet on social networks by looking at the significance and impact of the Internet on intimate relationships.

Internet and Marriage: Research Questions

Meeting a partner

What role does the Internet play in introducing married couples? What are the geographic, socioeconomic and psychological characteristics of people who first met their partner online compared with those who met in more traditional ways?

Online behaviour

Which online behaviours are considered unacceptable in a partner? What are the expectations within a marriage about online self-disclosure to others?

Maintaining relationships

What role does the Internet play in the quality of married life? How important is online communication in resolving marital conflict?

Methodology

This study will collect data through online surveys of married couples who used the Internet in 19 countries. A total of 9300 couples will be expected to answer the survey. Participants will be recruited from an international company specializing in online panels. Upon completion, participants will be asked to allow their spouses to complete the second half of the questionnaire. Questions asked of both participants will be identical.

Support

This research project is supported by a grant and collaboration from eHarmony, a US-based online match-making company supporting research on the science of relationships. We would like to continue and extend this project over time, and to include civil-contract and long-term cohabiting couples. Parties interested in supporting work in this area, or who have enquiries about this project, should contact Dr Bernie Hogan.

People

Researchers

• Dr Grant Blank, Oxford Internet Institute

• Professor William H. Dutton, Oxford Internet Institute

• Dr Bernie Hogan, Oxford Internet Institute

• Dr Nai Li, Oxford Internet Institute

• Dr Monica Whitty, Nottingham Trent University

Publications

• Articles
• Presentations
• Reports
• Working papers

Articles

• Dutton, W.H., Helsper, E.J., Whitty, M.T., Li, N., Buckwalter, J.G. and Lee, E. (2009) The Role of the Internet in Reconfiguring Marriages: A Cross-national Study. Interpersona 3 (Suppl.2) 3-18.

Presentations

• Dutton, W.H., Helsper, E.J. and Whitty, M. (2008) Marriage and the Internet. Presented at One Plus One seminar, 30 July 2008.

Reports

• Helsper, E.J. and Whitty, M. (2008) The Role of the Internet in Intimate Relationships. Keho - Peach eZine 4 (October).
• Hogan, B., Li, N. and Dutton, W.H. (2011) A Global Shift in the Social Relationships of Networked Individuals: Meeting and Dating Online Comes of Age. Oxford Internet Institute, University of Oxford.

Working papers

• Dutton, W.H., Helsper, E.J., Whitty, M.T., Buckwalter, G. and Lee, E. (2008) Mate Selection in the Network Society: The Role of the Internet in Reconfiguring Marriages in Australia, the United Kingdom and United States.

Webcasts

• 

  Interview with Joseph Walther: Presentation and Perception on Online Dating Sites

  Recorded on: 10 December 2011 Duration: 00:04:11

  Joseph Walther describes the hyperpersonal model and its relevance to the study of online dating. 'Idealisation' of perception and presentation online can facilitate the selection process, but may have unforseen consequences when people eventually meet.

• 

  Interview with Erina Lee: Partner Compatibility and Online Dating Sites

  Recorded on: 10 December 2011 Duration: 00:04:37

  Erina Lee discusses the importance of similarity between partners in terms of long-term relationship satisfaction. She discusses some compatibility dimensions that have been considered by eHarmony, as well as future directions for research.

• 

  Interview with Jeff Hancock: 'Deception' on Online Dating Sites

  Recorded on: 10 December 2011 Duration: 00:04:01

  Jeff Hancock talks with co-author Nicole Ellison about their work on the issue of 'deception' on online dating sites (in terms of 'optisation of self presentation'), and introduces the idea of 'profiles as promise'.

• 

  Interview with Monica Whitty: Scammers on Online Dating Sites

  Recorded on: 10 December 2011 Duration: 00:06:04

  Monica Whitty discusses her recent work on dating scams, which has focused on attempting to identify a typology of victims, recognizing the techniques used by scammers, and also the psychological impact of the scams themselves.

• 

  Relationships and the Internet (Public Panel)

  Recorded on: 4 December 2009 Duration: 01:22:22

  This forum looks at the state of the art of academic research on relationships and the Internet and how this research informs research on the social aspects of the Internet in general, such as issues of trust and identity.

• 

  A Perspective on the History and Future of Online Dating

  Recorded on: 2 October 2008 Duration: 00:29:10

  This is part of a forum panel that provided a critical perspective on the history and future of the Internet's role in meeting new people, dating, and developing lasting relationships, such as through partnerships and marriage.

• 

  Digital Makes the Heart Grow Fonder: Relationship Gains and Losses from Internet Communication

  Recorded on: 2 October 2008 Duration: 00:29:51

  This is part of a forum panel that provided a critical perspective on the history and future of the Internet's role in meeting new people, dating, and developing lasting relationships, such as through partnerships and marriage.

• 

  A Progressive Affair: From Online Dating to Real World Mating

  Recorded on: 2 October 2008 Duration: 00:42:10

  This is part of a forum panel that provided a critical perspective on the history and future of the Internet's role in meeting new people, dating, and developing lasting relationships, such as through partnerships and marriage.

News

• Little love as dating websites face complaints over contracts

  4 March 2013 Independent.ie

  The European Consumer Centre in Dublin has seen a rise in the number of complaints since 2011 as more Irish singles use Internet dating sites.  The report refers to the OII report 'Me, My Spouse and the Internet.'

• The science of falling in love: Finding the perfect partner online

  29 March 2012 Metro

  A feature about online dating highlights eHarmony and notes that the system it launched in the UK in 2008 was developed with the help of the Oxford Internet Institute.

• Money can't buy me love - or can it?

  13 February 2012 Irish Times

  An article in the Irish Times timed for St Valentine's Day on the costs of dating refers to OII research on online dating.

• 60 seconds with Bernie Hogan

  31 October 2011 Oxford Today

  The Oxford Alumni magazine interviews Bernie Hogan about social network sites and online relationships. He says the next step is to make the online world as natural as walking into a room full of friends.

• Internet dating increasingly used by middle-aged

  28 October 2011 BBC Radio West Midlands

  Bernie Hogan was interviewed by BBC Radio West Midlands morning news show about his study into online dating as part of the BBC "Give an Hour" initiative to help people online (from 42:00 on the iPlayer clock).

• Wie das Internet das Liebesleben bereichert

  27 August 2011 Science.orf.at

  William Dutton is interviewed after his talk on "Meeting and Dating Online" given at the annual Austrian Institute of Technology Forum in Alpbach (in German).

• The Plankton Generation

  4 August 2011 Daily Mail

  Bernie Hogan references OII research on online dating in an article on the dating prospects of middle-aged women and the partner choices of middle-aged men.

• What effect has the internet had on finding love?

  1 May 2011 The Observer

  Alex Krotoski refers to the 'Me, My Spouse and the Internet' report on the impact of the Internet on intimate relationships, published earlier this year by OII researchers.

• Middle-aged most likely to seek love on the web

  15 February 2011 Vancouver Sun

  Coverage of OII report on changes in online dating, part of the 'Me, My Spouse and the Internet' project

• Middle-aged most likely to seek love on the web

  15 February 2011 The China Post

  Coverage of OII report on changes in online dating, part of the 'Me, My Spouse and the Internet' project

• Study: a third of us have used dating websites

  14 February 2011 University of Oxford

  An Oxford University study suggests that nearly one in three of us who use the Internet have visited online dating sites.

• Middle-aged are most likely to look for love online and a THIRD say they found partner on web

  14 February 2011 Daily Mail

  Coverage of an OII report on changes in online dating, part of the 'Me, My Spouse and the Internet' project.

• Internet makes matches made in heaven

  14 February 2011 The Scotsman

  Coverage of an OII report on changes in online dating, part of the 'Me, My Spouse and the Internet' project.

• Middle-aged most likely to seek love on the web

  14 February 2011 Toronto Sun

  Coverage of an OII report on changes in online dating, part of the 'Me, My Spouse and the Internet' project.

• Middle-aged people looking for love online

  14 February 2011 The Times of India

  Coverage of an OII report on changes in online dating, part of the 'Me, My Spouse and the Internet' project.

• Internet playing Cupid for middle-aged people:study

  14 February 2011 Daily News and Analysis (India)

  Coverage of an OII report on changes in online dating, part of the 'Me, My Spouse and the Internet' project.

• Bernie Hogan interviewed on Radio Oxford

  14 February 2011 BBC Radio Oxford

  Bernie Hogan discusses the findings of an OII report on online dating

• Bernie Hogan interviewed on Radio Kent

  14 February 2011 BBC Radio Kent

  Bernie Hogan discusses the findings of an OII report on online dating

• Middle aged most likely to seek love on the web

  14 February 2011 Reuters

  Coverage of an OII report on changes in online dating, part of the 'Me, My Spouse and the Internet' project.

• Middle-aged 'look online for love'

  14 February 2011 Press Association

  Coverage of an OII report on changes in online dating, part of the 'Me, My Spouse and the Internet' project.

• Virtual affair leads to real divorce for UK couple

  15 November 2008 Chicago Tribune

  Ellen Helsper comments on the impact of the Web on relationships: 'The online drama shows how emotionally invested some people have become in their virtual identities'

• Virtual Affair Yields Real Divorce For UK Couple

  14 November 2008 The Huffington Post

  Ellen Helsper comments on the impact of the Web on relationships: 'The online drama shows how emotionally invested some people have become in their virtual identities'

• Brits value sex and in-laws, Web dating company finds

  7 October 2008 Reuters

  Coverage of the OII's 'Me, My Spouse and the Internet' project, looking at the Internet and relationships

• How to live and love online

  7 October 2008 BBC News

  'It has often been said that opposites attract but research suggests that initial spark of attraction soon fades and does not make for a long and happy married life': coverage of the 'Me, My Spouse and the Internet' project

• Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match ... if the algorithms agree

  6 October 2008 The Times

  Coverage of the OII's 'Me, My Spouse and the Internet' project, looking at the Internet and relationships

• Couples admit spying on each other

  8 April 2008 Marie Claire

  Coverage of the OII project: 'Me, My Spouse and the Internet: Meeting, Dating and Marriage in the Digital Age'

• Couples admit to 'snooping' on each other

  8 April 2008 The Telegraph

  Coverage of the OII project: 'Me, My Spouse and the Internet: Meeting, Dating and Marriage in the Digital Age'

• Couples turn to online espionage

  8 April 2008 vnunet.com

  Coverage of the OII project: 'Me, My Spouse and the Internet: Meeting, Dating and Marriage in the Digital Age'

• Have you spied on your partner?

  8 April 2008 Guardian News Blog

  Coverage of the OII project: 'Me, My Spouse and the Internet: Meeting, Dating and Marriage in the Digital Age'

• One in five couples admit to 'snooping' by reading each other's texts and emails

  8 April 2008 The Daily Mail

  Coverage of the OII project: 'Me, My Spouse and the Internet: Meeting, Dating and Marriage in the Digital Age'

• Online spousal spying widespread in the UK

  8 April 2008 The Register

  Coverage of the OII project: 'Me, My Spouse and the Internet: Meeting, Dating and Marriage in the Digital Age'

• 'One fifth of spouses' net snoop

  7 April 2008 BBC News

  Coverage of the OII project: 'Me, My Spouse and the Internet: Meeting, Dating and Marriage in the Digital Age'

• The Role of the Internet in UK Married Life: Survey Results from the Oxford Internet Institute, University of Oxford

  7 April 2008 Oxford Internet Institute

  The Internet is an important means of managing the relationships in our everyday lives. This OII survey draws on a representative sample of over 2000 married Internet users to understand the role played by the Internet in their relationships

Blog

• A Look at the Media Response to our Valentine’s Day Report

  Couples Blog on 8 Jun 2011 12:36PM

  Following the release of our Valentine’s Day report [pdf link], we were pleased to see media outlets across the world publicising and discussing the initial findings of our newly expanded dataset. We understand that when covering academic reports, [...]

• Me, My Spouse and the Internet report released

  Couples Blog on 14 Feb 2011 01:49AM

  Today, February 14th, 2011. We’re pleased to announce the release of a new report from the Oxford Internet Institute. Drawing on the Pan-European data collection from early spring 2010 and subsequent data collection in Brazil and Japan in the [...]